Don't let "sorry" be the hardest word in your business

In recent years, I have often had to help the companies I work with in dealing with angry customers and complaint responses, especially in the banking, finance and insurance sectors. All sectors that deeply affect the lives of people and their families, where sensitivity is very high and the right words can not only recover a customer in extremis, but can make him decide to stop before sending a complaint to the Bank of Italy or a complaint to IVASS.

Today more than ever, being able to manage complaints in the best way and learning to apologize when you're wrong is essential.

Consumers are much better informed and above all more aware of their rights. Digitization has accelerated times: writing and sending a complaint is a matter of a few minutes and on the wave of anger it is really difficult to calm down and think about it. The pandemic did the rest: for many public and private organizations the written word has now replaced face-to-face contact at the counter, at the URP, at the branch for almost two years. In addition, it has increased both the disservices and the sensitivity to what does not work.

In light of all these changes, "apologizing properly" is essential. Want to know how it's done?

• By "actively" listening to what the customer tells us in writing: analyzing his language gives us a thousand keys to understanding who he is and how to respond. Think about how your customers feel, not how you feel. Of course none of us like to admit our mistakes, but it doesn't matter how embarrassed you feel, it's more important what your customers feel, what their discomfort is.
• Apologizing sincerely ; if the apology is not sincere, the customer understands it immediately and gets even more angry
• By “sounding” sincere, for example, not hiding behind the passive voice , but with the courage to use the active one ( we have verified and confirmed that we have charged you an undue commission, you have not been charged an undue commission ). Even if an apology includes an "if," it probably doesn't sound sincere. Writing "I'm sorry if you were offended" suggests that it is somehow the customer's fault that they were hypersensitive enough to take offense. If you're truly sorry, take responsibility, don't try to pass it on to others.
• By admitting the error, not in vague and generic terms, but precise and detailed (blaming it on a "system error" or a "technical glitch" is even worse than glossing over the explanation)
• Not sweetening the message with formulas from brochures or press releases about how attentive the company is to the customer , putting him at the center of its corporate policies and similar formulas, nor insisting on the commitment you make (only the result counts).

More recently, on the Association of Psychological Science website, a group of psychologists published the results of a study on the beneficial effect of apologies, identifying 6 elements for an apology that works . The Nice Replay website, dedicated to customer service, thus adapts them to the corporate context:

1. Empathy , which doesn't mean simply saying "I understand" or "we're sorry." It means we understand why we put ourselves in his shoes.
2. Apologize , immediately and in a personal and direct way.
3. Offer an explanation , but only if it is useful, clear, convincing.
4. Offer a solution if possible.
5. Offer compensation , if possible.
6. Pulling the strings at the end , with a small personalization, a call to action or apologizing again.

Indeed, it is not always possible to offer a solution or compensation. Choosing the right words to save the relationship instead yes. The results of the 2020 National Customer Rage Study referring to the USA (yes, you read correctly, anger !) clearly indicate that most of the expectations of an angry customer concern material elements, but even more elements that have to do with being considered, taken seriously. For example:

• explanation of what happened
• guarantee that it won't happen again
• explicit apology
• recognition of his state of mind
• Thanks for reporting the problem
• answer not from template, but in human and natural language.

Of my own I would add:

• apologizing properly means above all doing it at the beginning ( first of all we would like to apologize for not having contacted you in good time ), not at the end or in an aside ( apologizing for not having contacted you in good time, best regards ).
  If you apologize right away, the angry customer begins to calm down and reads the sequel in another frame of mind instead of asking, "What's with these?" According to the Carey School of Business, 37% of angry customers are satisfied with a solution or compensation, but if you place an apology first, the percentage rises to 74%.
  When the error is serious, it is better to appeal to the customer's understanding than to grab straws: Accidents of this type should never happen: we count on your understanding and thank you for describing it with such precision. It will help us ensure that it doesn't happen again.
• recognizing the customer's state of mind means reflecting it through the right words, even if they are strong words. If the customer complains because he has written and telephoned who knows how many times to get an answer to an important question, it is not a matter of discomfort , but of real exasperation and using this word can placate him because he sees himself recognized and understood ( the please excuse us: we can understand that you are exasperated at this point ). Let's call things by their names: a mistake by the company is not a simple inconvenience for the customer, if anything it is a problem that has caused inconvenience and difficulty ; it is not even a glitch , which indicates something light and due to fortuitous circumstances. And one thing that doesn't work is a disservice , bluntly.
• using a human and natural language does not only mean abolishing bureaucracy, but also not resorting to an antiquated vocabulary: one does not regret or regret , if anything one is sorry ; he does not remember , but he does remember ; and the customer has not complained about a problem (who likes to be called complaining?) , but has communicated , exposed , presented, reported it
• personalizing the answer does not mean reinventing the wheel every time, but adding something, perhaps even a detail, which makes it clear that the complaint has been read well and that the answer is personal, not a template that is good for everyone:
  – we are sorry that this mistake wasted your precious time if the customer highlighted this aspect
  – we hope to regain his fullest confidence if he threatens to end the relationship
  – we are sorry for the inconvenience this has caused for your customers if the problem has involved customers
  – we hope this hasn't shaken the trust of a very loyal customer like you have been for 30 years
  – we are waiting for you with the documentation that is still missing to immediately close the case and we cordially greet you, you have the advantage of personalization and remembering the most important thing.
  The best place to insert these small customizations is at the end: we don't "disassemble" the template and we also enjoy the "recency effect", the strongest effect of what is read last.
  Writing the response templates in natural and human language and then customizing them gives us the “written for me by a real person” effect.

The classic objection to the transparent admission of an error can come from the legal department: what if the client then takes advantage of it and claims damages? In fact, research says otherwise. According to research by the British mediation and dispute resolution company Ombudsman, most customers appreciate an apology in the event of a disservice or poor product. And excuses don't increase but decrease litigation. Since the University of Michigan health care system allowed doctors and nurses to apologize to patients when something goes wrong, attorneys' fees have dropped nearly 50 percent.